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Death Anxiety

by Pocket Vinyl

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  • Full Digital Discography

    Get all 24 Pocket Vinyl releases available on Bandcamp and save 40%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Painless, Filled With Candles, Live at the 1000th Show, How To Completely Lose Your Mind - Official Soundtrack, You Never Say Goodbye When You Leave, Thunder Blanket, This Won't Work Out, Winter Person, Hygge, and 16 more. , and , .

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  • "Death Anxiety" on CD
    Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    The CD version of "Death Anxiety"! Comes in a smooth digipak.

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  • Death Anxiety: Super Happy Edition!
    Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    This double CD comes in a hand screen printed package we painted, folded, and glued ourselves. One CD contains "Death Anxiety" in it's standard form. The other CD contains both the "Piano/Vocals-Only" version of the album as well as the 5-song "Gun Bae!" EP. It's a deal and a half!

    Includes unlimited streaming of Death Anxiety via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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1.
Don't 05:50
Sing if you wanna sing, I don't Praise if you wanna praise, I won't See if you wanna see I'll try It's hard to see with a blind mind's eye Never you mind cause I always give up I was inclined but it's never, no it's never enough Speak if you wanna speak I don't It puts a number on every soul Never you mind cause I always gave up I was inclined but it's never, no it's never enough And though you say what you mean I find your criticism, the opposite of wisdom And though you say what you need I'm sure it isn't a thing, more like a light than a being The feeling is quite alone, like God hung up the phone I'm glad you're doing a good thing But the backlash must be frustrating Never you mind cause whatever is done Is always met with opposition If you're only here for a little while You can just drop off that paranoid smile When you bleed, please don't bleed next to me I've got a problem with the way these things are seen I've been self-described as a tiny man with a tiny life But the little things get smaller and smaller every year Yes, the little things get smaller and smaller every year Sing if you wanna sing, oh well Do you think I'm going to Hell? Never you mind cause whatever is done Is always met with opposition You've been self-described as the ones who finally got my doctrine right But the little things get more and more important every year Yes the little things get more and more important every year
2.
If I don't drink I don't trust you If I don't think I don't mean to If I don't lie I'm not living If I don't die you're forgiving If I don't see it then I'm sorry When asked if I knew I said "Hardly." We all have differing opinions Yet we all think we have the right ones I still convince myself that I will never die Like I lead some extra special life As if the billions who've gone before me don't count With such high amounts I still have my doubts I don't think I was made for children But how will I know unless I raise one I found I cannot make a baby Is it better than way? Maybe. I saw my grandmother during her open wake They put so much make up on her face As I stepped closer towards the woman that I knew Her life shined through, she was dead yet made anew I know I see Him when it's scary I know I see Him when I'm happy I know I see Him when I'm angry But it could just be my death anxiety I still convince myself that I will never die Like I'm on some never-ending ride As if the billions who've gone before me don't count With such high amounts I know how that sounds
3.
An Hour Ago 05:00
The police held him back with force Couldn't calm himself down to believe Tried to scream while drowned in tears Never felt more alive than within this grief I saw you an hour ago And now your body has left your soul The bullets stained those tiny clothes They didn't know I saw you an hour ago And now your school is fully closed The least comforting thing is You're not alone She said goodbye but she had no though That that goodbye would be the last he got Standing now, asking to wake up Overwhelmed that she can feel this much We watched the news it seemed so absurd Half the room had had their mouths covered We couldn't work, couldn't think or move What possessed that man? What did he have to prove?
4.
One time I fought off a murderous thought About someone I knew Have you had the same or am I insane? Is it called sin, that struggle within, The burden of free choice? The way I behave, and the things I crave I don't struggle to see potential black evil In my heart A murderer's speech is within my reach Yes there is good, yes there is love And I try to let it lead I feel Evil's pull, not sure if it's equal Oh don't you hate, this horrible fate About how we can't always do good? Well it annoys me, that break in the psyche Why don't I stop? Why don't I give up? Why don't I collapse in hate? I fail all the time, yet I yearn to keep trying
5.
Look at you there standing fine in your new dress How am I the man that you want to impress? Oh, I don't think your face was built to frown Using my last days to tie up the loose ends I'd rather use my death as a form of revenge Oh, oh, if I died now they would be so sorry For the ways they've emotionally scarred me It's a mouthful, it's a mouthful, it's a mouthful And for the first time I am feeling double Though I'm faking the crime, oh it kills my sense of time The leader told me that the key to success is to be patient (The leader told me that the key to success is to be brutal) (The leader told me that the key to success is to be unflinchingly evil) Never mind the crap that you get from a distance I'm slow to speak but quick to defend her "I don't think I should be here...I'm not that pretty" She said as we entered Johnson City And I learned the key to failure: "Trying to please everyone"
6.
I'm sick sick sick of waiting so long I'm sick sick sick of waiting so long I'm sick sick sick of waiting this long I'm sick sick sick of thinking about the time I'm sick sick sick of waiting in line I'm sick sick sick of feeling fine I'm sick sick sick of the pondering I'm sick sick sick of the pretty things I'm sick sick sick of not living I'm sick sick sick of the avoiding I'm sick sick sick of the ignoring I'm sick sick of my attention not paying I'm sick sick sick of all my queries I'm sick sick sick of the mysteries I'm sick sick of my curiosity I'm sick sick of thinking about my death I'm sick sick sick of wasting my breath I'm sick sick of worrying about Beth
7.
(no lyrics, just think about the trials as you listen)
8.
She is my little buttercup And I know she won't give me up I know I have low self-esteem But I'm confident in her it seems oh yes She's my buttercup She is my little tea leaf And I'm water for her to steep Though we have our faults and kinks We sure to make a damn fine drink oh yes She's my buttercup She's my tea leaf She's my buttercup
9.
35 Years 04:59
What about your brothers? What about the war? What about your biggest fans? They're making me bored When is the storm gonna hit, To knock them all down? I'm getting anxious to die Or get out of town Why can't you see? It's you it's not me I can't go on with you And one day when I reach 35 years I'm driving my pick up straight to LA I can't go on living, knowing I'm tied down with you No, not for a day What about the others? What about my friends? What if I/they hold their/my hand When comes the end? What about the promise About if you die That I wouldn't follow you? I hope I don't lie Why can't you see? It's all crushing me I can't go on without you And one day when I reach 35 years I'm driving my pick up straight to a place Surrounded by fields where the sun can turn all the clouds pink Oh, perhaps we'll stay
10.
My worries attach to me like a tick They're a wound in my mouth I can't help but lick No days are added onto my life When I consider all the things that bring my strife Or ponder the ways death could take my wife any minute I feel so knee deep in it I once drew you in a loving picture Panicked, I erased but the lines got thicker I threw it away in the trash last fall And in the spring it was somehow glued on my wall And no fire, gun, sword, catapult, or dagger, or spear Could ever get that thing out of here When I step outside I am greeted by A certain shade of green that tells me it's alright When it belts that everything is fleeting The collective sound of the cows all eating The grass tells me that we'll be defeating our foes And I'll make the first blow When I die, I don't know what's gonna come Heaven, Hell, or Nihilism But I hope those who have gone before us Were greeted with a gigantic loving chorus That sings about how we won the war on apathy And every single word is known upon their entry And they'll be a phrase for this brand new things Where you can simultaneously laugh and sing And there'll be a light that makes the vision so crystal clear And we'll forget the definition of fear
11.
Foggy Mess 05:56
Monday I'd rejoice in the glow of Christ Tuesday I'd proclaim that it was all lies Then right back to my religious self I was sure of nothing and wanted help I first heard that doubt like an annoying bell I believed because I was scared of Hell Yeah I had no depth of commitment Followed Christ to avoid the punishment So I changed my veil, I had a spiritual schism Dabbled in the church of atheism Tried to rid myself of all that I could From the Sunday school lessons of my childhood But something I noticed internally Like I didn't believe in God but God believe in me Was this a feeling from the divine Or something I made up in my mind? I've got a grief that resists but catches me I've got a grief that resists but catches me I try to flee yet it chases happily I've got a grief that resists but catches me Don't you find it so frustrating That you can really make the Bible say anything? You can do what you want if you quote the right verse From making fun of someone to putting them in a Hearse I'm not saying that the book contains no truth But we need to realize that we pick and choose To fit God into our personal box Maybe the point of it all is the paradox It wasn't the Lord that disgusted me It was my fellow followers hypocrisy And I say that knowing 100% I'm referring to myself as well as them Cause I'll quickly bark out rules and laws Forgetting I can't listen with my moving jaw And the Bible states it quite clearly That those who thought that way are called "Pharisees" Now I'm not sure of the title I hold I'd rather not have one if I can be so bold The one thing I feel I can sink my teeth Into is a love that forgives my enemies And I know I'll fail with the bar so high But something inside me compels me to try You may call me a heretic You can't spell that word without "eric" Admittedly I'm scared, skiddish like a vapor To put these thoughts down onto this paper What if I'm disowned by my family When I claim that "if there's a Hell, it's probably empty"? For some it's easy just to give it up But I'll probably always drink right from that cup It's a foggy mess still around my head I'm sure I'll figure it out though when I'm dead

about

If you find this album about death depressing, you're listening wrong. It's about questions. I hope it encourages you to talk about these things with strangers.

credits

released October 26, 2013

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Pocket Vinyl Norwich, Connecticut

The Basics about Pocket Vinyl:

-Eric Stevenson slams on the piano and sings while Elizabeth Jancewicz paints on stage

-The songs are mainly about death, sexuality, silence, uncertainty, and defiant hope.

-They've made many comics, records, and a film, and played over 1000 shows, and they have no plans to stop

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